Eating and Re-Connecting

Today I met my friend Hyun-Ah for lunch in Myeongdong. She is in Toastmasters with me. This was our first time spending time together outside of Toastmasters activities. We had such a nice lunch..talking about what we have been doing, men, leg waxing...yeah, I get my legs waxed. This morning was my first time getting it done in Korea and it was painful. I think the girls who did it let the wax cool too much. They were very quick about the whole thing...in and out in about 20 minutes. There was no schmoozing and they just talked about DVD Bongs and movies, in Korean of course...they had no idea that I understood a good bit of what they were saying. Needless-to-say, I expect to be hairless for quite awhile.

Last night I had dinner and tea at a beautiful coffee shop with my friend Young-Min. She and I have been close for awhile. She was one of the first friends I made over two years ago. She became a Baha'i during that time. We had so much catching up to do. She works for an intersting non-profit called the Beautiful Foundation. We will be working together on planning and carrying out Baha'i activities. She also helped me get some privates, money that will help pay for dance classes.

Yesterday I went to the Immigration Office to apply for my Alien Identification Card...yes, I am an alien here :) All went well.

Today it is raining. I must say that I really like rain. It inspires me to write. Oh yeah!! I spoke with my friend Faysal last night and we will be meeting for lunch tomorrow....yeah...lots of eating going on!!!

One Week In Korea

This weeks impressions after being back in Korea.

I feel completely at home. At ease. I do feel differently inside though. I feel like I went through a transformation while I was at home. A change only I can notice and feel. I am thankful that I got the opportunity to reconnect with my family as an adult and was able to resolve some long standing inner struggles.

My school is very well organized and child oriented. The subject matter is geared toward their ages and ability. There is enough going on in the learning process that they are not bored but there is enough consistancy that they are learning. I like this most. I am not only teaching someone to mimic English but to actually speak.

My apartment is small and very modern. Well laid out with enough storage space. I am hard at work trying to figure out how I will try to maximize the space I do have so that I can have meetings at my place.

I am trying to get in touch with the Baha'i community closest to me, Bundang. I want to first find out what is going on there and how I can be of service before I commit to anything else.

Re-connecting with friends has been wonderful. My heart is so full and happy. I have met at least a friend a day. I have already been dancing too and had a very good, impromptu dinner with the owner of the club I go to. We were very happy to see one another.

Yes, so far so good and I thank God for it.

I have been waking up in the morning with a million things going through my mind...I am bursting to talk to someone but there isn't anyone. It has been this way for a long time. When I wake up like this I have a hard time praying. It's like I am so full that I cannot keep it all in so I have to go somewhere...listen to music...anything to quiet all the things running through my mind.

In Korea

I got to Korea last Wedensday so it has been exactly a week. My apartment is SWEET!! It is small but it is by far the nicest place I have stayed in yet. I still don't have my bearings in my new area yet but I will soon enough. I have been spending most of my time visiting with friends.

I have already gone dancing and have had a WONDERFUL time! I do notice that many of the guys are soft leads so it is a bit more difficult to follow.

I want to write more but I am itching to get out of this PC Bang and explore! More to come soon!!

GOT MY VISA

got my visa today...i am going to KOREA!!! no questions now...i am going and i am so excited!!!

Gotta Start Packing

The days are passing fast and my departure is coming up quickly. I leave on Tuesday for Korea...in FIVE days!!! I haven't even started packing. I think I will start this weekend. I really never unpacked and I don't have much this time. Cleaning is the big thing. I really need to clean. My mother is in VA with my grandmother and when she comes home it would be nice to have a clean house. I have been keeping very late hours and I have no idea why. Maybe it has something to do with my work schedule or maybe I just don't want to sleep...I am not sure what it is but I sleep late the next day and I don't like that. I hope that my work schedule in Korea will help me to get more on track.

The Nature of Forgiveness

As I am beginning to finally grasp what it is that I am feeling at peace about, I am beginning to get a glimpse of what it means to forgive. I had to place myself in front of my father to know that he no longer had power. That the child/parent relationship I was left with no longer exists. I am an adult now. Somehow knowing that I hda boundaries and could follow through on them really made me feel like I had finally tackled my biggest test. If I can no longer hand over power to my father than I hope that will no longer hand over power to any man. I think it also helped that I was able to tell my father the truth a few months ago...without emotion or attachment to his reaction. This concept of truth telling was so fundamental for me to be where I am now. As I am beginnning to understand that forgiveness is what I am feeling I am starting to see all of its components. It really is freeing. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting but it does mean letting go. It means that you no longer give power to another to control how you behave around them or feel around them. It is a beautiful thing that I am just beginning to understand.

I Almost Missed It

I think I have finally forgiven my father. This poem reflects what I am trying to say:

It happened quietly
No pomp nor grandness
No heartwrenching pronouncements
It happened simply
A short visit
Arriving centered
It happened naturally
Confirmation of all the heart healing
Testimony to all the soul healing
It happened gracefully
Subtle transition
Dignified balance of inner power
It happened so
quietly,
simply,
naturally,
gracefully
that I almost missed it
forgiveness.

Back N Florida

I am back in Delray Beach, Florida. The place where I started writing on Blogger. The place I came to after having to leave Korea in a hurry. The place where I was able to ease back into American lifestyle. Yeah...now I am visiting my cousin Allison before I return to Korea in about a week and a half. It has been a quiet and relaxing time. Last night a few of her friends came over for dinner and we all hung out. I got to really talk to a couple of them. Allison has a pretty good and solid group of friends here. Really sincere and good hearted people. Today she is working again which gives me some time to write. We'll be hanging out tonight and all day tomorrow, of course!!!

How to Create a Money-Saving Budget You Can Stick To

How to Create a Money-Saving Budget You Can Stick To:
by Kerry Hannon

Your Cash Flow

The crux of budgeting is knowing your monthly spending needs and habits. Creating a budget means tracking your personal cash flow -- that is, how much money comes in and how much goes out.
Adding up your monthly income is easy, but tallying up all your spending takes a little more effort.

First, collect all your bills, your credit card statements, your checkbook register, and receipts for your groceries, gas or anything else you buy with cash.

If you haven't been keeping good records, you may have to keep track of every dollar you spend for a month before you draw up an accurate budget. Track your expenses by making entries in a notebook, or use a money management program such as Quicken or Microsoft Money. Those programs make budgeting easy. They really are worth the investment and often can be found discounted at computer retailers or bookstores. You can also use Money's budget worksheet.

Next, divide your spending into fixed costs -- such as mortgage payments, rent or loan payments -- and variable spending, which includes clothing, food and entertainment. Although you may be able to reduce your fixed costs by, say, refinancing your mortgage to get a lower interest rate, in most cases it is much easier to trim your variable spending.

Setting Goals

Once you have a handle on your spending, you can easily determine which costs you can cut and which you cannot.

Often, as soon as you see how much you are spending on your morning cappuccino and doughnut, you will be motivated to cut back. Keep motivated by setting goals. Attempt to save a certain amount, and put your savings in a special place so you can actually see what you're saving. For example, if you put your $1.50 you would spend on vending machine snacks every day into a piggy bank every evening, by the end of the month you'll have a tidy amount of money. Then put that money into an interest-bearing savings account or a money market account (you can open one of these at discount brokerage houses like Charles Schwab, often with a low starting balance). Now that money is earning interest for you as well.

Here are a few tips to get you started.

Budgeting isn't difficult, but it does take motivation. Promise yourself a modest reward for your efforts. Make it something you enjoy and don't often get to do. Blocking out some personal time for an activity you enjoy (or just to relax!) is a great, inexpensive way acknowledge your hard work.

Gather three months of bills or, if possible, all of the past year's bills, and add up how much you spend every month. Add up your spending in categories such as housing, entertainment and food.

Take a hard look at what you can pare. Entertainment expenses are easy to slash, but utility bills are not so easy to cut. Keeping a daily journal of what you spend each day may sound obsessive, but it can be eye-opening. Once you know where your money goes, you can spot your mindless excesses. It is really not very hard to give up lattes or bring your lunch from home.

Pay bills as soon as they come in. Avoid wrecking your budget with late fees.

Decide what you can cut, then do it. Track what you are saving, and you will be pleased. Budgeting is a bit like dieting; it takes discipline, but once you get in the habit -- and see your positive results -- it gets much easier.

4 Smart Money Moves for Singles

4 Smart Money Moves for Singles: By Sara Eckel


The vast majority of women will be single at some point in their lives. With good habits and planning, you can ensure a life of financial freedom, with or without a mate.

1. Buy a home. When Liz, now 38, bought her first apartment at age 35, she admits she did it with a feeling of defeat. "I had always thought I'd buy my first home with my husband, so I felt like I was stamping 'spinster' on my forehead." Three years later, New York City-based Liz still isn't married, but she's quite a bit wealthier. "The value of this place has almost doubled! Now I'm thinking about renting it out -- at a nice profit -- and doing some traveling," she says.

Bach says that buying a home is the single most important money move you can make. "You have to pay to live somewhere anyway. When you look at the difference between homeowners and renters, homeowners are rich and renters are poor," says Bach.

2. Invest one hour a day in yourself. You work hard all day -- don't you deserve to keep an hour's pay to yourself? Bach advises you to set up a retirement account that automatically withdraws the equivalent an hour-a-day's income straight from your paycheck or bank account. "If you start in your 20s and continue to do that for life you will be a millionaire," says Bach.

Indeed, starting young is the key to financial freedom, because successful investing has far more to do with how early you start than how much money you put in. Knuckey explains: "If you have someone who puts away $2,000 a year from age 25 to 35 and then never invests another dime, she will still have more money than the person who invests $2,000 a year from age 35 to 65," she says.

The choice is yours: Have that cute new pair of sandals now, or be a millionaire later?

3. Create a backup plan. Married people can lean on each other during economic trials, like layoffs or extended hospital stays. Single people have to create their own safety net. Knuckey advises building a cash reserve of two months' worth of living expenses. She also thinks that disability insurance is crucial for singles, and suggests that unmarrieds inquire with their HR department about disability coverage. "Often companies offer them at a good rate. If your employer doesn't offer them, then call an insurance agent, but don't let them talk you into life insurance -- you only need that if you have dependents. Just get enough disability insurance to cover your basic living expenses," says Knuckey.

4. Fight the "latte factor." Because singles go out more, they tend to spend more on "intangibles" like coffee and drinks. Those little expenses can really add up. Bach calls this "The Latte Factor."

Obviously, no one is suggesting you spend all of your evenings sitting in front of the television with a tuna sandwich, but pay attention to all the ways that your lifestyle can erode your cash reserves and look for ways to cut corners. Bach points out that if you can shave just $5 a day off your expenses -- coffee and a muffin, cigarettes, a glass of wine -- and invest it at a 10 percent annual return rate, that adds up to almost a million dollars ($988,611) over the course of 40 years.

Now that's what we call living happily ever after.

The 5 Top Money Questions to Ask before You Get Married

The 5 Top Money Questions to Ask before You Get Married
by Jill Gianola

You've found your one and only, but before you start addressing the invitations, you'll want to learn everything you can about your future spouse or companion. How he or she handles money should be near the top of the list. Talking about money will help you uncover potential hot spots and develop understanding and respect for how you each think about finances. Here are five questions to get you started.

Warning: These are very personal questions, so tread lightly and be prepared to answer as well as ask.

1. What does your balance sheet look like?
If you plan to sign a prenuptial agreement, full disclosure of assets and liabilities by both parties is a must. However, even if you skip the pre-nup, you should each draw up a balance sheet and share it with your partner-to-be.

A balance sheet or net worth statement is simply a snapshot of your financial condition that shows what you would have left if you sold all your assets and paid off all your debts.
A negative net worth might be a sign of trouble, but first take a hard look at the numbers. Did your fiance just finish medical school with a bunch of student loans, or is it car loans and credit card debt tipping the balance into the red? It makes a difference.

2. What is your credit rating?

Even better than asking the question would be exchanging credit reports. You can order copies of your credit history from several Websites. Take advantage of the opportunity to check over your own credit report. Mistakes are not uncommon.

Why should you care about your partner's credit rating? His debts are in his name, and unless you transfer them to a joint account, you're not responsible. However, joint purchases such as a house will be affected by his credit rating. You may get stuck with less favorable terms such as a higher interest rate or a smaller mortgage. The credit report will also give you some insight into how your partner manages debt.

3. Do you want children?
Of course, there are lots of reasons to discuss having children, but with a price tag of $200,000 each plus college costs, having a child is a financial decision as well.

The discussion shouldn't stop there. Will both of you continue to work full-time? What kind of childcare would you arrange? What happens if the baby is sick and can't go to the baby sitter? Who has the more flexible schedule or is willing to adjust work hours in an emergency?

4. How was money handled while you were growing up?
Financial planners often ask this question as a way of gauging clients' attitudes toward money. The answers can be revealing. If money was a hushed subject in your partner's family, he may be uncomfortable discussing finances with you. Perhaps money and gifts were used to show affection in your own family and you will be deeply hurt if your new spouse doesn't continue the tradition.

Obviously, neither one of you is a clone of your parents, and free-spending parents sometimes produce thrifty children, but some insight into your partner's background can help you understand his attitudes today.

5. What are your financial goals?
Discussions about dreams and goals will probably span the length of your marriage, but it's important to begin talking before you say, "I do." Start with the big picture: When would your partner like to reach financial independence? What is his idea of the perfect career? Would he ever want to branch out on his own? Does he think parents should pay for every dollar of their children's college education?

Then move on to more near-term goals: buying a house, saving for big-ticket items such as vacations and cars, developing a budget and tracking expenses.

In Virginia

After driving for hours I arrived in Suffolk Virginia this morning. It has been a good trip so far and I will write more with details later.

Poverty/Wealth...Abasement/Glory

I am trying to get myself in the habit of reading the Writings every morning and evening. I am starting with the "Hidden Words" but I am feeling like I want to get into the Kitabi-Iqan. Today I mediated and pondered a Hidden Word whose theme was to not be sad in poverty or fearful of abasement. That wealth will once day come upon me and glory also. This is more than about money or status in society, it is also speaking of an inner state of being. That all of it is transitory. It is so easy to get caught up in whatever it is that is making me sad. I am having to reprogram the way I think about things. I have been fighting the part of me that is capable of more by getting caught up in settling and hurting myself. It is time for that to stop. I am learning to walk the middle way and although it has been hard, the key is letting go of the old patterns and thought processes. As I read the Hidden Words I am beginning to see and feel things differently. There is a universiality to struggle and suffering as well as happiness and prosperity. I am not special in any way when it comes to life but for some reason I have tricked myself into taking things so personally. Seeing things as they relate to me. There has to be a balance to all of this. The balance is to be detached from wealth and poverty/glory and abasement...these are temporary states of being that cannot be allowed to overtake me because if poverty or wealth overtakes me than I forget God.

Day's Overview

Well I sent off my passport to get more visa pages put in. I truly hope that it doesn't take too long. Today was a very busy day at work. There was a huge rush of patients following lunch. It was crazy but time passed quickly.

I did something last night that I was contemplating doing for awhile. I told the guy that has gone to Korea that I don't want to maintain a friendship with him when I get there. It was so hard for me to do and in me there is something that is still wondering if I did the right thing but simply the fact that I have been going back and forth made it important that I made a decision and that I stick with it. I will be forced to now because I don't know where he is and I don't have a number for him. I tried being friends with him while he was here and it made things worse for me. I really haven't been able to have the space I need to adjust and move on. I am remembering now that when I was seeing one of my therapists I was diagnosed with adjustment anxiety. Maybe this is part of the reason why I have to have a complete severing for awhile. Anyway, what's done is done and I am at peace with it.

Tonight I talked with some friends about a couple of business ventures that look very promising. I will supply updates as time goes by...right now I will keep the particulars to myself ;)