Meditations from my Sacred Space

Before prayer as I found my quiet space:

-There are no soul-mates when you marry. Marriage is the process of becoming soul mates.
- You cannot love as you did when you were a youth. That love required you to give up power.
- You are learning to love without giving up power.
- Do not compare your marriage to others. You cannot know their struggles and tests. You can only hope that the happiness they show is the result of having overcome obstacles together.

From deep inside I heard, after prayer proceeded by me voicing my deepest longings:

- Teach My Faith and assistance will come to you to become a stronger more steadfast spiritual being.
* To teach you must pray, meditate and reflect
* You must pray to be led to those who are waiting
* You must meditate and reflect to make today better than yesterday
* I will assist you in this journey (my father)
* Your earliest memories are of being with your father rendering this most meritorious service. Remember this.

- I will not give a way out when there is no reason to. Don't be lazy. Remember you have things to resolve too. It is not all about him.
- (my father) I am here to help you. Use your voice. Get the play out there. I know it is about me in some ways but it can help others. Continue to dance. A job will come as you act on your dreams. Just continue to pray and look for opportunities.
- You do not need to speak with the monk. He will only confuse you as he is confused himself.
- You read the Dawnbreakers and see yourself between those pages. See your spiritual strength in their story.
- You are meditating just fine. See what you have done?!

Finding a Quiet Place

9:17am

My two days here have been disappointing. I came here expecting quiet, peace, houses of quiet contemplation and worship. Instead I have found myself in a dirty, loud system struggling towards development, capitalism at its most infantile and embarrassingly obvious. I have encountered so many people who so young to this money feeding frenzy that they can barely hide the glint in their eyes when they see a possible source of monetary sustenance. I know I am being harsh in my words ad I am overly generalizing. From here on I will try my best to leave such harshness and prejudice behind, for in my estimation of what I have seen, I have also encountered the great balancers, those who have integrity.

These past two days have been an uncomfortable journey for me. This journey has opened my eyes to a truth I have always known, all that I need to connect spiritually is  in me and the Writings of the Baha’I Faith and other Holy Books. I came here wanting to understand and receive guidance how to achieve spiritual discipline. Knowing that I have the tools I need in me, I just need to ask, to beg, to supplicate for be given the opportunity to develop the discipline, the strength to not lose focus, and the fortitude to stay consistent. Maybe this is what this time will be about for me. Supplicating God for the virtues I need to use the power He has already placed in me. Begging God to help me to overcome my fear and my lack of self-love to embrace His grace.

I came here thinking that something outside of myself would bring me to myself. What I have discovered is that If I want a quiet, spiritual, peaceful place to worship and meditate, it is inside me. It is with me wherever I go, in whatever conditions I find myself. The room I have now is simple and quiet and this will be my space until I leave for Colombo tomorrow.

10:00am

I just had the most amazing meditation session! I remembered what I learned from a wonderful elder I met in Abu Dhabi who showed me how to sit and meditate. I remembered the breathing techniques I learned from her and in Dahn Yoga. I remembered the cd that my friend Anana gave me to practice meditation. I remembered guidance from Abdul’-Baha about there not being a set way to meditate and to basically choose what will open you up to receiving divine inspiration.  I remembered all of this and just did my own thing. Yesterday, I met with the monk, who spoke of releasing memory. Being attached to memories is what can make it difficult to meditate. He spoke of living in the present and that many of us live in the past and the future. Both places in time can be possessed but not the present because it has not become a memory.  We have 6 senses that help us to create memories and we can use them also to connect to the sacred space inside of us in the present. Meditation is all about connecting to that sacred space. The one sense that is really difficult to release is the thinking mind. We use it so much. We put so much more emphasis on it than the 5 other senses. I played around with this idea that the monk shared with me in my meditation practice this morning and man was he right! In Dahn yoga the sacred space in right below the diaphragm near our belly button. What I did was focus all of my senses and moved my thinking mind to that point and the result was instantaneous! My breathing decreased and my prayer originated from that point rather than from my thinking mind. In that space time stood still. I recited a fairly long prayer that was finished long before I thought it would be. Afterward I was able to maintain the meditative state that I prayed in and all of the words I had spoken to God previous to prayer and meditation were addressed.

Some of you reading this may find this to be a bit odd and hocus pocus but that is why it is my experience and no one else’s. I do believe that God inspires us and gives guidance in those silent moments before we are fully awake or when we enter a quiet place inside. When a person seeks it they will see. It is always there we just sometimes lack the “sight” to take it in. This is what meditation gives us, eyes. 

Inspired and Joyous!

I am soooo very HAPPY!!! I did my first open mic reading in a long time and it felt so right! It has been years since I last read at an open mic and when I did I was still filled with doubt about my craft. For me, the fact that I feel inspired to push myself and I was comfortable with my voice, shows that I have finally put a dark time behind me. I have finally stepped back into myself and I am ready to explore where this new, healed, and centered person can go. I am looking forward to the next open mic and I plan to have at least 2 poems memorized. INSPIRED and JOYOUS!!!