A New Kind of Fear

Never in my life have I been as scared as I am now. I now know the fear that lies at the heart of so many parents. Fear of the uncontrollable. Fear that other parents may learn a lesson from the pain of our sorrow, loss. Fear that no matter how many safety skills I may teacher my son I ultimately cannot protect him from being harmed. To have a child is an ongoing struggle for detachment, to trust, to overcome fear, and to fight the urge to be over-protective. I look at his sweet face and every fiber in my body knows with a certainty that I would kill or be killed to protect him from harm. Never in my life have I seriously considered buying a gun and learning how to use it.

Now that I have shared my body with a little soul, endured the pain of birth, experienced the heartbreak of birth dreams not be, seen his smiling face, listened to his baby babble and beautiful laugh, rocked him to sleep, sang him every song I can remember, and watched him look at the world in wonder I do believe that parents should have the right to protect their child by any means necessary when they are in immediate danger.

I hope we can give our son the tools and skills he needs to protect himself - knowing his surroundings, using peripheral vision,  listening to his intuition, having the courage to not follow the crowd, be brave enough to defy an adult if he knows something is wrong. But most of all, the best ways to protect him is to engender trust and faith in God and trust and faith in his parents to be his champions of justice.