Divine Gift

As the days begin to pass my heart is feeling heavier and heavier. I am both preoccupied with all the things I need to do to be able to leave with my salary plus severance while also being hyper aware that my time with people who have become dear to me is drawing to an end. This has not been an easy place to work but it has been a lovely place to have met some of the most amazing people. I grew as a dance instructor here and somewhat as a dancer also. I think I am finally coming to a place where I can see the role that dance plays in my life and it must be woven into what ever I find myself doing. Through this art form community is built, potential is revealed, confidence is developed, and when I am teaching dance or dancing, I have felt moments of completeness that are indescribable.

I have grown as an educator and as a person. I have become particularly close to my 3rd grade students and I feel most heavy when I think of leaving them. I worry about my student Asma who is blind and has so much promise but I fear the system will fail her. I have watched her become more independent and more confident. She laughs a lot now and seeks out conversation with me. She reaches for me now when she hears my voice, to hold my hand. All of my students are showing so much progress and promise and it is my greatest hope that this country is ready for them...ready for what they can bring. In the end, there was no other reason for me to have been here than to have had the privilege to be the teacher for these young girls. I pray that God holds them close to His heart.

Living here has brought with it tests for a young marriage and in this area I have grown as a person and as a part of unit. There is no question in my mind that my first commitment is to God and this commitment to His sacred institution of marriage is what lays the foundation for a strong marriage. It becomes the point that I return to when my vision is clouded. I learned this here in Abu Dhabi. I do believe that in later years, I will look back on this time with gratitude for the opportunity and that we had the courage to run with it.

No time that is spent engaged in growth, shifts in understanding, overcoming tests, connecting with others in positive ways is easily laid aside. I have lived here but it never really felt like home. It is the experiences I have had and not the place that will hold a special place in my heart's memory. And in the end, isn't it the memories that we get to keep that are Divine gifts?

A Gentle Reminder

The days are passing. Some slowly. Some quickly. I don't want to get so caught up in the passage of days that I don't live fully in the present. My present is this: my students love me and are growing in leaps and bounds; I am getting new inspiration for dance class moves; I have been able to stick to my gluten free diet; I need to find a place to do yoga or just start on my own; I need to start meditating in the morning and evening; I need to look at dates for traveling and seeing the rest of the UAE; intentionally cherish the moments with friends I have made here; and continue to honor and pursue the intuitive whispers in my heart. Be in the present. Be mindful of the blessings and live in gratitude for everyday I am allowed to wake up and breathe...for every opportunity to grow. Stop being frustrated by the lack of initiative, communication, interest my husband demonstrates while being far away. Don't let this cloud and poison the remaining days I have here. Focus on those who do care and wish to share their lives with me and show an interest in mine. Try to stay positive.

Prepare for the future while living fully in the present. Be ever mindful that the choices I am making now will play some part in my life's journey that is too far away for me to see. Make an effort not to squander this time for something in me says that it is precious. Although I am ready to leave this blank desert with its harsh people, there is still a sacred feeling to what I have experienced here.

At present, it is time to go to sleep!!!