The After Baby Body - Facebook Note: January 4, 2014 at 5:05pm
The After Baby Body
Yesterday I had a conversation with a dear sister friend that I have avoided having with anyone but my husband. And, honestly, I haven't really discussed it with my husband other than to complain and say unflattering things about myself. The after-baby body takes a lot of getting used to. A lot to accept, especially for someone who spent the vast majority of her life very thin and not thinking much about staying in shape. I find that the habit of exercise is a hard disciplin to learn when you have never really contemplated how important it is. I mean, this is the delusion of thinness, that it is healthy. Actually, being thin may LOOK healthy but thin people may lack stamina, cardio endurance, and muscle strength. I was and now for sure, am very unhealthy. I never thought about the fact that my stomach was flat without having to work at it or that I could wear size 4-6 clothes. I remember being called skinny a lot and people commenting on how thin I was, like it was a bad thing. I didn't exercise and THAT was a bad thing.
Now, now I have fat in places I never have. I have a scar that is never going to go away. I cannot wear any of my favorite pants and my shirts only accentuate my belly. The belly that was home to my son for 9 months.
I didn't realize just how much I was affected by the images and standards of health and beauty until now. I am only 8 months post-partum and I am beating myself up for not having lost the weight or burned off the fat.
Then today, at my son's first swim class, my vanity, idle fancies and vain imaginings, were silenced. I saw a mother, 6 and a half months post partum, in a bikini with her beautiful baby and stretch marked, saggy belly who walked as if she was the most beautiful woman in the place. And she was. Fearless and unconcerned, she walked into the water with her son and enjoyed the moment that they had together. And I loved her for it.
When did I buy into the idea that evidences of one of the most beautiful experiences a person can have in this lifetime was something to be ashamed of or feel less attractive because of? It is a disappointing realization but I acknowledge my humaness and will get myself healthier, not because of the weight of society's expectations but so that I can have the energy, strength, and flexibility to be the mother to a very active son. To be able to enjoy the moments we have.
Now, now I have fat in places I never have. I have a scar that is never going to go away. I cannot wear any of my favorite pants and my shirts only accentuate my belly. The belly that was home to my son for 9 months.
I didn't realize just how much I was affected by the images and standards of health and beauty until now. I am only 8 months post-partum and I am beating myself up for not having lost the weight or burned off the fat.
Then today, at my son's first swim class, my vanity, idle fancies and vain imaginings, were silenced. I saw a mother, 6 and a half months post partum, in a bikini with her beautiful baby and stretch marked, saggy belly who walked as if she was the most beautiful woman in the place. And she was. Fearless and unconcerned, she walked into the water with her son and enjoyed the moment that they had together. And I loved her for it.
When did I buy into the idea that evidences of one of the most beautiful experiences a person can have in this lifetime was something to be ashamed of or feel less attractive because of? It is a disappointing realization but I acknowledge my humaness and will get myself healthier, not because of the weight of society's expectations but so that I can have the energy, strength, and flexibility to be the mother to a very active son. To be able to enjoy the moments we have.
posted by Jeong-Eui = justice at 9:47 AM
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