Thursday, June 18, 2009

Intellectual Autobiography

Adalia Ellis
Politics 560
Dr. Paul Peterson
Assignment 1:
Intellectual Autobiography
06/18/09

The Thinker I Have Become:
A Brief Look Into the Mind of a Mixed Race Southern Baha’i Woman

A personal truth I came to accept at a very young age is that my thoughts are my reality. I did not discover this wisdom on my own but rather in my study of the sacred texts of my faith, the Baha’i Faith. My life is a patchwork of interlocking pieces that have created an experience unique to me.

I grew up in the rural south between Hartsville, Darlington and Florence South Carolina. My parents came from very different worlds but were brought together at a special time by a common vision. My mother was one of seven girls in an Irish Catholic family from Vermont and my father was the youngest of two boys in a Baptist family from South Carolina. They were both drawn to the Baha’i Faith. Their acceptance of this quiet revolutionary religion would shape my life. My parents married during a time when it was still illegal for such a bond to exist between a white woman and a black man. Both of them chose to be followers of a Faith that not only encouraged interracial marriage but also made racial prejudice against the Divine Law of Unity. Therefore I learned to live in two different societies. In the general public I became accustomed to stares, being treated as if I could not learn by my teachers, my peers regarding me with suspicion. I learned self-reliance rather than having a group to belong to. With my Baha’i family, immediate and extended, I could be everything I potentially could become. In this family I was exposed to scholarly writing, public speaking, expressing myself through dance and poetry. It was in the Baha’i community that I developed a very strong sense of self and knew that nothing less than my best was expected. In the Writings, the Manifestation, Baha’u’llah writes as the Mouth Piece of God, “Noble have I created thee, wherefore dost thou abase thy-self? Rise then unto that for which thou wast created.” This self-evident truth, that all people are created noble, is what shaped the vision for my future endeavors.

In high school I attended Maxwell International Baha’i School in a rural, beautiful stretch of land located on a lake in British Columbia. It was in these surroundings that I came to see with my own eyes the truth of the Faith that I grew up with. I became friends with young people from all over the world. It was while in high school that I learned the power of words to move a crowd or to keep them still. I was a member of the school’s performing arts team. We would travel great distances to cities throughout Canada. One of my roles was that of the master of ceremonies. It was in fulfilling this role that I learned the skill of blending knowledge with words that can touch hearts. Aside from my experience with the arts I was introduced to Ralph Ellison, Richard Wright, Alice Walker, Maya Angelou, and Toni Morrison. Growing up in the south, regardless of how involved I was in the Baha’i community, I was unable to escape the debilitating belief that black was ugly and unintelligent. It didn’t help that I was only half black. My exposure to these authors changed the way I saw myself as well as the black community. Toni Morrison’s ‘Beloved’ forced me to break out of the linear model of writing and reading changing the way I wrote. I could understand the isolation and need to be “seen” in Ralph Ellison’s, ‘The Invisible Man’. I personally connected with the young girl’s search for beauty and belonging in Toni Morrison’s, “The Bluest Eye”. My English teacher, Mrs. McKague, has no idea how much her choice of authors in my senior high school year changed the way I thought of myself and the world. I am forever grateful to her.

After high school I entered college. While in college at Coastal Carolina University I was faced with the daunting task of figuring out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I can sadly say that I didn’t do so well at this. I became so wrapped up in the present moment that I neglected the future, but I will touch on that later.
Of all the professors I had in university, the two who affected me most were Dr. Eldridge Prince and a visiting professor who taught African history. They both had a way of lecturing that drew me in and kept me engaged. I loved the passion they infused in their lessons. It was because of these two memorable professors that I realized that not only did I enjoy history but wanted to be a teacher.

One amazing event happened while I was in college that truly expanded my world vision and my understanding of love, nobility, and acceptance. In 1997, I was privileged to make a two month trip to East Africa. My travels included: a few weeks in Asmara, Eritrea; Addis Ababa, Ethiopia; and 3 days in the Baha’i Holy Land in Haifa, Israel. During this two month journey I discovered just how love starved we are in America, the strength of human perseverance in the face of overwhelming obstacles, the beauty of detached dignity, and I got to kneel and bow my head at the threshold of Baha’u’llah’s tomb. Up until that moment in my life I had not known what it felt like to truly love myself and to want so much more for my future.

Back in college I experienced one disappointment that would affect me years into the future. I was a double major at one time, history and education. In the education program I took a test, the Praxis Exam, and I failed. I could blame my lack of preparation on my past teachers. I could blame my giving up on the non-supportive attitude of my advisor. The truth of the matter is that I failed and I gave up. I dropped my education major, took up a theater minor and graduated with a Bachelor’s in History. The years following college constantly saw me involved in education on some level. Eventually I ended up in South Korea where I lived and taught English as a Second Language for six years. I realized while there, that I was truly born to teach. I loved seeing my students grasp some new concept. I enjoyed our discussions. I discovered that I was well suited to be a teacher. I began to regret giving up. I found doors closed to me because I was not certified. I went about changing my present by choosing to try again and this time it would be a 14 month Master’s in Teaching program at Coastal Carolina University.

My time in the master’s program has been one of amazing growth personally and professionally. I have been exposed to giants in education such as John Dewey, Jean Piaget, Benjamin Bloom, Erik Erikson, Maria Montessori, and B.F. Skinner to name a few. Many of the things I learned while teaching through intuition, trial, and error in South Korea has been supported and expanded upon in my studies. I took the Praxis II and although I failed one part I did not give up. I re-took it and passed with flying colors.

My collective experiences with travel, literature, public speaking, the arts, disappointments and triumphs will be carried with me into the classroom. The passion I saw in my professors will be with me. Photos from my travels will adorn the walls. I hope that I will have an unintended positive impact on at least one of my students. The wisdom and facts gathered by educational theorists will be blended to fit my own particular way of reaching young people. I will teach because it is what I was born to do.

The Baha’i Faith fostered in me a world view that respects balance and sees the nobility in others. While In high school I learned the power words can have orally and in writing. In college and adulthood I have learned that the power to choose is what shapes my life.

My life is a patchwork of interlocking pieces that have created an experience unique to me. As I have lived I have seen my thoughts become my reality.