Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Embracing Solitude

i almost wish he had not called. i was beginning to forget. i was beginning to no longer miss him. now the ache is back. the wondering if i should call or not call. having so much to tell him. i have been like a river dammed in his absense. i am an ant. a tiny bug to be squashed once again under his feet. i feel it. that is what frightens me is knowing that i will be rejected yet again. my mind is racing and i am fighting old habits. i am fighting old tendancies. i wish i could embrace my solitude.

Monday, December 08, 2008

The Universe Answers

it is strange. i keep putting energy out into the Universe...detached energy and things start happening. just this past week and then over the weekend i talked with friends about the fact that i really wanted to start a Latin dance night on my own terms. i received an email yesterday from a woman i met months ago who was opening a Carribbean restaurant. I had told her that i would be interested in working with her on getting things started there. i hadn't heard from her and had actually forgotten about the conversation. receiving that email was like seeing a prayer answered and the meeting i had with her today was a confirmation. we are so like minded. she wants her restaurant to become the "headquarters" for latin dancing in Myrtle Beach. she is dedicated to seeing it flourish. it doesn't revolve around me either, which is really nice. i couldn't believe how similar we are in our approach to this. she is cool with doing dance nights for free until a crowd starts coming. just let the community grow. she is also in a great spot. right on 17 business. there is good sized dance floor and an AWESOME sound system. she wants to see things grow and is willing to work with me on making that happen. i gave her the contact info for the guy who is doing my website and flyers so she can start getting the word out. i will also get some more flyers made. i haven't had any new ones made in awhile and it is about time.

i am not sure where this is all supposed to be going. i will pray for help in making things more purposeful as far as using this also as a way to be led to folks who are ready to hear and accept Baha'u'llah. there has to be more to it for me than just dancing and fun now. i can feel that i have to start using what i love, this God given talent, for more than my own personal enjoyment. i know the way will be shown because He is already bringing so much into my life.