Letting Go and Feeling Peace

i feel myself finally really being able to let go. as i am working on myself i am getting so much closer to where i want to be. every once in awhile when i realize i don't feel anything i start to try to remember him. even when i try to remember him now i really have to reach. remembering how i felt about him is a better way of saying it. i had a good discussion with my mom. i got so impatient with hurting. she asked me, "why do you think you shouldn't hurt?" i told her because it was uncomfortable. she helped me also to realise that hurt, that feeling of loss, is a process that can't be rushed. the more i try to rush it the worse it becomes so just let it come and let it go. don't try to stop it at the gate because it will still be standing there until i let it through. so i am welcoming it and letting it pass and it is becoming easier.

i am getting used to trying to redirect my thinking. i am also starting to finally seperate my "ego personality" from who i really am. i understand that at one time in my life this way of thinking and viewing the world served a purpose. now, i am ready to let it go. now that i know that i am not losing anything by relegating it to the past, i am feeling a lot more at ease about embracing this change. for so long i was scared of stepping into unfamiliar territory so i didn't. after realizing that everything i need and want to be is already inside me, i feel so much more confident. so much more centered and at peace.