"Ego Figure"

As I am beginning to really look at things I realise that in my mind I do have an "ego figure". I think I created her when I was a child so that I could take care of myself. It isn't like a split personality per se but I know that at points in my life I have felt like I was behaving like another person. At the core of me, my foundation, I am very self-confidant, self-aware, authentic, centered, loving. When I look back on the past I see where I would slip into a completely different type of person and internally it was a real battle. I think that this "ego figure" embodies all of the components of the truth that I broke down last week. I created her around the age of 7 and the memory that I alluded to was critical to this creation.

The "ego figure" had to always be in control, has had very unrealstic expectations, is very needy when it comes to affection and love, and oddly, will give the power to another person to judge her worth. Hmmmm, for someone who needed to be in control giving the power to another to judge my worth is truly odd. I think I got a very skewed understanding of intimate relationships with men and although I am drawn to them, I am also afraid.