No Place to Go

of all the great and wonderful things happening in my life i can only be inspired to write out of grief and pain. i am tired of these mental tests i keep getting. i am tired of working so hard to become a better person only to be alone. i am tired of me being so careless with my heart that i keep letting people in who take it for granted and see so little worth in being there. i am tired of me choosing to let myself become involved with people who are careless, insensitive, who don't reciprocate, who choose others over me, who are lesser friends to me than i am to them, who treat me with little regard or respect, who are only looking out for themselves though they speak with words like honey...though they look at me as if i am the only one. i am tired of grieving. i am tired of crying. i am tired of aching. i am tired of my heart hurting. i wish i could just give up and accept solitude. i lived in solitude for so long and it was so much easier. so much less painful. then i loved. i loved deeply and now solitude doesn't bring me peace but neither does loving. i am a wandering, hurting spirit with no place to go.