MELT DOWN

I had a bit of a melt down tonight. I called my friend Nevin to talk it out.

I get into these "zones" where I am just living my life..doing what I have to do...rollin' along...then I get an email featuring the website of the marriage of two of my beautiful friends (female and male)...'BAM'

"DUDE! I am not married. Am I supposed to be married? I don't see me ever getting married. Is it okay to want to be married? Did I choose to be single this long? Why does it seem that marriage is the end all...like the very meaning of life is to find 'that other person'. My life isn't like that. I don't feel like that. Is this why I could be single for the rest of my life? Because I don't see marriage as the end all? That if I get married I get married...if I don't, I don't. Am I too nonchalant about the whole thing? I am hating the fact that I am even having this conversation with myself. "

I love my friends. I am happy they are married. I hate that I let 'marriage' interrupt my zone. Thanks Nevin for the chat.