Post Vacation Blues

I returned to an empty apartment with bags hanging from my body like a coat rack. It smelled lovely, my apartment. The lingering smell of my husband's cologne mixed in with the last load of clothes I had washed before leaving, and the clean smell left by the person I had had hired to give my place a good scrubbing.

It started before I had even left The Secret Garden villa, the sadness in the pit of my stomach. Not wanting to return to the life I had to resume. I knew then that this was to be my final months here in Abu Dhabi. When I don't look forward to going home to my job with some expectation, I know I am in the wrong place. It doesn't help that my husband is now back in the States.

There was once a time in my life when  I got up and was excited about getting into the classroom. I looked forward to whatever it was that my students would spring on me that day. This is no longer the case, at least not here. I don't like the idea of going back to America where teaching jobs for me are pretty much non-existent and if I do find a job, it would be a HUGE pay cut. Yet, I would rather embrace the unknown and face a world of new opportunities, possibly outside of education, than stay here. This was the biggest revelation I experienced while in Sri Lanka. This is not a place for my soul. It is harsh, cold, and burdensome. Yes, I can, and have created a sacred space for myself of friends, interests, and loves but it is not enough.

What to do with the time I have left? Take yoga and get as many regular massages as possible to work out injuries and blocked energy. Regularly pray and meditate to stay focused, receive inspiration, and to infuse my lessons with love to love my students into learning. Start looking into other career options. My first career choice, long ago, was to become a dance movement therapist and I have recently felt that I must investigate the possibility of doing this. I can blend my love for education into dance therapy and I feel like this may also give me a level of independence in my work. I need to start looking into avenues for funding for getting a play produced that has taken me over 10 years to finish. It is time. It is time for me to plan my dance/soul journey through Central and South America this summer.

So I have things to keep me busy and growing over the next few months. While I try to live in the present I will also prepare for the presents that will be in my future.