Healing My Own Heart

i recently received an email from a friend/sister who came to a teary but life changing realization. after looking back on her life and the types of relationships she had been in, she began to see her own choices. she came to the realization that she had spent the better part of her life breaking her own heart. this line really stuck with me, "breaking my own heart". it resonated with my own unspoken realizations. once again the necessity to step from being the victim into my own power was made so plain. i know that as a child i experienced things that i had no choice in. i know that as i grew up i used what i knew to survive to maintain my own sense of being. i do not berate myself for the choices i made out of desperation or ignorance but now that i know, and i have grieved, it has been time to move on.

being home this time did this for me. i have spent the better part of 6 years healing my heart. trying to make better choices. learning from the past and learning not to live in it. i went to korea in a state of disconnect and i have come home to find myself reconnected...whole. i knew that this time at home was going to be pivotal in my moving into this next phase in my life and it truly has been. reconnecting with people i love. that i have a deep connection with has been the thing i needed to shake off everything. the entirety of the dust and soot i unearthed as i healed my heart. with every conversation, silent moment, smile, laugh, look, hug, demonstration of love i felt the shell i created begin to fall apart. the wall that once stood so tall is now rubble at my feet.

love. love is the power that brings us back to ourselves. love is what heals our broken hearts.