Love is the Answer

what it all comes down to is understanding and healing internal wounds. so much of what a person perceives about the world and others is about how they see themselves. projecting onto others the poison that they may feel about themselves. thinking that others see them in a negative way because that is how they see themselves. i got a lesson in that this past few days. my fears that are awakened by interpersonal relationships cause me to overreact, over analyze, become bitter, distrustful...all these poisons. the desire to blame someone for what i maybe feeling is so strong. i am learning that it all comes down to forgiveness. not necessarily forgiveness of another but forgiving myself. i am brutal on myself mentally and emotionally. some of the images that accompany my intense negative emotions are so destructive.

i can feel myself changing and growing. just as the sun shines warmly some days it is covered by clouds and cool on other days. no day is better than the other. they just are and you adjust and you live your life as the Divine moves you to live. i have had some intensely sunny days, some warm days and some cool days. i am coming to learn to appreciate them all. the constant is that God is behind these changes and i just have to begin to perceive what it is that i am meant to learn.

i know that now i am on a journey to better understand love. particularly loving myself so that i can begin practicing forgiving myself and so that i may forgive others.