Good at many, Exceptional at none
This morning when I woke up the first thought that came to me was that I am good at many things but exceptional at nothing. I have been taking stock of my life over the past year or so. I have been looking at the choices I have made. I have always been spread too thin. I have no real focus or direction. I have followed whatever seemed most plausible or reliable in the moment. My adult life has been a meandering one. I love teaching, I have fallen into quite by accident but I have recently come to realize that I am not an exceptional teacher. I guess what I am trying to say is that I have no life directed goal or focus that I pour the majority of my energy into. I do not have a life passion for which I am constantly honing my skills and becoming better and better at. Honestly, I never wanted to teach young children. I have fallen into it but I always wanted to be in a classroom of teenagers, young adults. I am not intellectually stimulated working with children and being in an ESL environment has its drawbacks also.
I have been on the cusp of some shift for quite a while. I do not know what I want to do or where I want to go. I want to find something that I can be exceptional at. Some heart and soul path that I would passionately and with single-mindedness travel down. At some point in my life I began to settle. I took the easiest route but that may not have necessarily been the best choice.
I have some reflecting to do. Some decisions to make. Some changing to start.
posted by Jeong-Eui = justice at 12:33 AM
3 Comments:
i think there is some advantage to being super flexible, to getting a variety of experiences from life, as you are (and as i have tended to do), so don't knock your choices up til now (just in case you had been feeling negatively toward them)! that said, though, i have also been thinking about the idea of drive and passion and wondering what it is i am "meant to do" kinda. no answers yet,though, lol!
I was feeling negative about my past choices. Feeling like they took to me a place that I am not completely happy with. I feel a desire to do more than I have been doing but I feel stuck too. It comes and goes honestly. I am really wanting to find that THING that will bring purpose and focus to my life. A service that I can render with passion, love, and persistence.
"I feel a desire to do more than I have been doing but I feel stuck too. It comes and goes honestly. I am really wanting to find that THING that will bring purpose and focus to my life. A service that I can render with passion, love, and persistence."
Me too.
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