"Octopus Arms"

...that is the Korean name of the kind of way i am getting to know guys these days. i think as of now there are 3 guys that i am getting to know. nothing serious obviously cuz i don't roll like that. if it were serious i'd be practically married at the moment and none of these new friends are anywhere close to that yet.

i finally stopped being scared of casually dating and now i am meeting guys for dinner and coffee and talking. it has been an interesting change for me. i thought, in the past, that this way of getting to know people was wrong or unhealthy. i am finding, maybe because of my age and experiences, that it really isn't all that different from hanging out with guys who have brother status in my life. the big difference is that there is this quality of attraction that doesn't exist with my soul brothers. i think the fact that I am so at ease with myself and my life decisions i feel comfortable getting to know a guy over tea/coffee, dinner, and dancing. i am extremely objective keeping my emotions out of it so that i can really see them.

there are two big things that i need to come to terms with alcohol and religion. none of them are Baha'is and all of them drink...i have been going back and forth on the Baha'i thing because, honestly, my experiences with Baha'i men has not been great...they were men like all other men...so i really don't see a difference. the alcohol thing i have been pretty firm on until recently...well, i still am pretty much firmly a NO, but the only guys i meet are guys who drink...not alot but they do none the less...so this is how i have come to deal with it...as friends it is cool but once he decides that he wants more then we will have to make a decision. at this point i don't want to not get to know a guy because he drinks and i am pretty up front in the beginning. cool if you want to drink now but i will not seriously date or even marry someone who does. luckily none of them drink around me.

well, i gotta meet a friend for her birthday dinner!!!