Adoption the New Option

I had a very life changing conversation with my mother two days ago. She asked me, out of the blue, how I felt about adoption. I have always wanted to adopt children but had decided I would wait until I was married so that the child would have a father in their life. My mother said for children who have no parents one is better than none. I hadn't really thought about it in that way. She really encouraged me to do it and it is resonating with me. I have always wanted to have children and now I am getting older and it doesn't seem a man will be coming into my life anytime soon. Being a mother sits well with me especially now where I am in my life. The thought of adopting a child and finally being able to be a parent is starting to change how I am approaching things now. It looks like I will be here another year. I spent this past year paying off bills and getting certifide as a salsa instructor. This year is about saving, preparing for grad school, and now researching adoption information.

The idea that where I live in the future revolving around where I want to raise a little person fills me with a sense of purpose. It would be nice to take care of and to love unconditionally.

I feel like this is an answer to my prayers. It is just sitting with me so well, so comfortably and naturally. Years ago I had a dream about my daughter. I could feel her and we talked and I felt so in love with her. I feel sometimes like I am waiting for her and maybe she is the child I adopt. I wrote a poem for her 3 years ago.

To My Daughter

I hold your hand now
because someday you will not want me to.
I hug and kiss you now
because someday you will not be infront of me.
I tuck you into bed now
because someday
you will tuck others into bed.
I tell you I love you now
because I want you to know it
for all of your life.
You visit me in dreams
from which I awaken feeling your warmth and weight.
I tell you these things now
because you are not absent
but waiting to appear.
Someday you will come into my life
in the flesh
and will know that I have always loved you.