Karen Salmansohn: Why Aren't You Married?

If you're single, chances are you've been asked the following three questions: Why aren't you married?Why aren't you married?and the very, very popular:Why aren't you married?... give or take another 999,999,997 more such questions.

Unfortunately, I can’t fix you up with any cute guys or girls to help you avoid these questions in the future. However, I can fix you up with some good snappy comebacks to fling at anyone who dares to question your single status. So, next time somebody dares to ask you that “Why aren't you married?” question, pause, smile sagaciously (I love that word; it means “wisely”), and offer up one of the following. Or, just review them for your own personal satisfaction.

1. In the beginning, there were no elliptical trainers or low-fat/high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about 40-something. Maximum. Meaning, the pressure was on to get married before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances, we can all hope to live to 80. Easy. Meaning? Even if we marry at age 40, that's still 35, 45, even 55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. What's the hurry?

2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married people out there? Seriously. Even Frankenstein got married. Obviously married people are not superior people.

3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models:

Catwoman: Single.
Buddha: Single.
The Lone Ranger: Single.

Actually, virtually all superhero types are single: Superman, Wonder Woman, Dudley Do-Right. And then there’s The Ultimate Superhero: God—also single.

4. Plus, when you think about it, there’s no such thing as a Stepford Single Woman.

5. Why limit myself to being dissatisfied by one relationship when I can be dissatisfied by an infinite variety?

6. It’s interesting how our culture has the expression “happily married,” but no expression “happily single.” And those words are 100% certified by the US Census Bureau. Statistics show that although married men are reported to be happier than single men (surprise, surprise!)—single women are reported to be happier than married women (also a big surprise, surprise!). Meaning? This only furthers the irony that single women are branded as "unhappy” and “lonely” and “loser-esque"—when single women are just boldly holding out for the right situation, rather than getting married just to get married.

7. It's easy to become married. Millions of people do it every year. If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick something a little more challenging—like an astrophysicist.

8. True love is rare. That's why it's called "love" and not "really like" or "settling." And why we don't say: "I’m settling for you, honey" over candlelit dinners. True love is worth waiting for…and that’s what I’m doing.

Karen Salmansohn is a life coach and the best-selling author of 27 books. Visit her at www.notsalmon.com. Adapted from Even God Is Single: So Stop Giving Me A Hard Time, copyright 2000 by Karen Salmansohn. Used by permission of Workman Publishing Co., Inc., New York. All rights reserved.