The Receiving End of Xenophobia

Xenophobia- An unreasonable fear, distrust, or hatred of strangers, foreigners, or anything perceived as foreign or different.

it ranges from the seemingly harmless (passive aggressive behavior) to outright rudeness. young women giggling nervously and running to find someone else to take your order, on a crowded bus or in a crowded subway car people would rather stand than sit next to you(which has its perks), or not being able to get a taxi.

tonight i had a dance class. when the teachers called for people to partner up i was ready for the usual display of guys avoiding me. tonight was particularly different because one guy looked straight at me and then partnered with his buddy, another guy. when the teacher asked one of them to partner with me, he grudgly did so. i almost told him i didn't want to dance with him, when relief came over his face as another korean girl was available. he told the teacher he already had a partner. the teachers were almost pulling teeth trying to find someone to partner with me. the air was charged with discomfort as the guys and the ladies looked at me because no one wanted to partner with me. when it became apparent that no one would and there were two guys less than ladies, i was relieved. relieved because i wouldn't have to tolerate dancing with a guy who was so nervous and scared that he could barely move and would continually say, "sorry".

in essence i was lucky because i got to dance with the teacher and he is a phenomenal dancer. i think to try to make me more comfortable, which it didn't, the teachers later called for partner changing. i ended up dancing with scared, nervous guys who couldn't lead well because they were so worried about dancing with a foreigner.

this has been the behaviour of many folks the entire time i have been here and i usually have overlooked it because i realise this culture has been closed for a long time. i think tonight got to me because i was really put on the spot. i may as well have had a glaring light on me. it was almost like being back in school and you are the last one to get picked on the team...yet this was worse because it wasn't because i lacked the ability, it was because of how i look.

luckily i have been here long enough to see the sparkles of light...people who will go out of their way to make sure i get on the right bus, grandmothers smiling and saying, "Epahyo" (beautiful), the woman who owns a shop in Camille and Iyabo's area who rushes to her door to smile and say "Anyounghaseyo!!!" (Hello), Sopia my friend turned sister, and all of the sincere, unique Korean young people i have had the opportunity to meet who show me that there is hope and no, one cannot generalize.