In My Mother's House

I will preface this entry by saying that I am deeply grateful to my mother for letting me stay with her since I had to suddenly leave Korea. There are not many people whose parents would do this. I guess it seemed like a great idea at first because I have not lived in my mother's house since I was 14....16 years. I know now that there truly is a time when you realise that you can never go home again and this has been such an experience...though I am deeply grateful.

My sister and her boyfriend are moving out of my mother's house this weekend. I hope that this gives my sister the opportunity to finally grow up. I haven't been home...in my mother's house for years and I must say that the experience has been eye opening to say the least. I know that I never want to have to stay with my mother again and I am so grateful that I have been able to live on my own for as long as I have. I have little to no relationship with my sister and I don't see that changing anytime in the near future. She has been spoiled by my mother and it is nearly impossible to voice any opinion or concern contrary to her own without it turning into a drama fest. I have been so far removed from this environment that I must admit it is a shock to my system. I don't like how angry I get and how often it has happened lately. I hate being yelled at, responded to with aggression or confrontation, and not being allowed to express myself fully. I also am coming to realise that things I have understood as being common expectations, like cleaning up after oneself when you are living with others, to be alien to my sister. Something as simple as this topic can be riled up into a ferocious frenzy. Just the very idea that someone can actually refuse to clean up after themselves and expect others to do it, surprises me. What surprises me most is that I am not supposed to say anything because it is my mother's house. I have been quiet about so much for this very reason and it is for this reason that I am happy my sister is moving and I am looking forward to leaving...never to stay in my mother's home again.