taking the steps

For some reason I am feeling really sad tonight. A friend once said that sometimes when she is really having a hard time she just lets herself cry. I think I am feeling the need for me to really take the next step in my spiritual life. I am afraid because I have been traveling this road of "independance" much of my life and to begin to allow myself to acknowledge that God takes care of things is so hard. I am also afraid that it may put distance between me and ****. But it is getting to the point that I need to to be at peace inside.