My Childhood Friend

When I was a child I had one person I considered to be my best friend, Sultan. He and I met when I was 8 years old and there is not a good memory from my social life as a child that doesn't include him. We grew apart after I went to Maxwell and never really reconnected again. I haven't really spoken to him or seen him in at least 16 years. We were in the same university for a brief time but at that point we were more like aquaintances.

Having said all of this you may or may not understand my surprise when I started having dreams with him in them. They started about 4 or 5 years ago when I arrived in Korea. The nature of the dreams is what has made them hard to ignore. They are all continuations of the last dream. Like an ongoing story. It is almost as if I am watching my life unfold as he is being me. I have been having these dreams every 3 to 4 months. We didn't talk at all in the dreams I had the first 2 years or so. Recently we have started talking. I have had two dreams very close to one another in the past month. The one I had a few days ago has really stuck with me. I think it was a forshadowing of another spiritual struggle.

In this dream I think I was either reading something or remembering something that overwhelms me with sadness. I start crying. Sultan, who had been sitting in another chair on the other side of the table not too close to me, gets up. He takes kleenex from a box in front of him and starts wiping away my tears away saying, "Don't cry. Stop crying. You are strong. You have to be strong. Don't make tears your friend."

I have been thinking about it ever since. Basically, I feel like I have spent the greater part of my adolescent and adult life feeling disconnected spiritually for many reasons. I have never been very happy about this but usually I just become sad about it because I am not sure what to do. I am feeling like the questions are coming around again. How to bridge the gap. It has been the hardest, most intangible, frustrating struggle. This dream basically left me feeling like the only way I can finally be at peace with this is to overcome the problem and to overcome the problem I have to stop becoming depressed about it. In the dream Sultan's voice was gentle but very firm like it wasn't an option to face the test any other way.

I am not sure why my subconcious chose Sultan as the person to “watch” me grow and change. There are a few other people I would have chosen but for some reason this person left an endearing imprint on me as a child, and my spirit feels most comfortable with him.

When I was a child I had one person I considered to be my best friend, Sultan. He and I met when I was 8 years old and there is not a good memory from my social life as a child that doesn't include him. We grew apart after I went to Maxwell and never really reconnected again. I haven't really spoken to him or seen him in at least 16 years. We were in the same university for a brief time but at that point we were more like aquaintances.

Having said all of this you may or may not understand my surprise when I started having dreams with him in them. They started about 4 or 5 years ago when I arrived in Korea. The nature of the dreams is what has made them hard to ignore. They are all continuations of the last dream. Like an ongoing story. It is almost as if I am watching my life unfold as he is being me. I have been having these dreams every 3 to 4 months. We didn't talk at all in the dreams I had the first 2 years or so. Recently we have started talking. I have had two dreams very close to one another in the past month. The one I had a few days ago has really stuck with me. I think it was a forshadowing of another spiritual struggle.

In this dream I think I was either reading something or remembering something that overwhelms me with sadness. I start crying. Sultan, who had been sitting in another chair on the other side of the table not too close to me, gets up. He takes kleenex from a box in front of him and starts wiping away my tears away saying, "Don't cry. Stop crying. You are strong. You have to be strong. Don't make tears your friend."

I have been thinking about it ever since. Basically, I feel like I have spent the greater part of my adolescent and adult life feeling disconnected spiritually for many reasons. I have never been very happy about this but usually I just become sad about it because I am not sure what to do. I am feeling like the questions are coming around again. How to bridge the gap. It has been the hardest, most intangible, frustrating struggle. This dream basically left me feeling like the only way I can finally be at peace with this is to overcome the problem and to overcome the problem I have to stop becoming depressed about it. In the dream Sultan's voice was gentle but very firm like it wasn't an option to face the test any other way.

I am not sure why my subconcious chose Sultan as the person to “watch” me grow and change. There are a few other people I would have chosen but for some reason this person left an endearing imprint on me as a child, and my spirit feels most comfortable with him.