ingrown thorns

i have been feeling very out of sorts lately. i have started having a hard time sleeping again. my mind feels overwhelmed with a million things. i seem to have just enough energy. i don't have the brain power to write long intellectual blog posts, although i want to. i am experiencing an impatience that is very new to me. like a deep feeling of anxiety. i have written about it before and i really wish i could figure out how to overcome it. i know what it is but the cause is so deep and so old that i just don't know how to pull the thorn from my heart...it seems that the tissue has grown around the thorn. the thorn has become so much a part of my heart, my way of doing things, that i fear removing it because a hole will be left. what do i do then? i am familiar with things as they are now, even if i am unhappy...at least it is familiar.