I HATE this!!

I have just gotten back to my friend's place after dancing at Salsa Cabana. I had a nice time. Didn't dance with a whole lot of people but I had a nice time.

Got an email from my recruiter, my visa is on the way!!! I am so relieved! I was a little worried that there might be a problem but NOT!!!
I am feeling a little pensive today.

I am missing someone that I wish I didn't miss and it bothers me that I do miss him. I feel like such an idiot for even getting involved with him that I feel even stupider for missing him. Why do people like me do this to themselves? Why can't I just get it through my head that he just wasn't ready and that there is nothing wrong with me? Why do I keep feeling like I am lacking in some way? I wish I could just let go but if I do it would mean admitting to myself that the whole thing was a mistake and I put alot into nothing. ARGH!!! I hate this!!!