How to get dumped gracefully By Gwen Holme

Do you rerun memories about happy moments you and he spent together, sharing warmth and professing tenderness? Do you then wonder how those joyful times suddenly evaporated? Now you're sitting on love's doorstep, chilly and heartbroken, craving the affection you once shared. Turns out that Romeo decided it was time to move on — without you. Ouch.

There are plenty of songs about breaking up, and every one talks about how tough it is to do. They're right. If you fully believed that the two of you made a great duo, it's going to take time to get over your shock and disappointment. Here are some tips to nurture your dignity and get through the pain of being dumped. Even if you've been given your walking papers, you can hold your head high and behave gracefully.

Here's how:

Keep perspective
Every swing at romance won't yield a home run, and it's unrealistic to expect it to. Sometimes you just get a line drive or are tagged out. Being dumped is painful, but it doesn't mean that the universe is out to get you. Learn what you can from the past, give yourself time to heal, and move on.

Rip the bandage off quickly
Let the break be clean and fast. Forget drunken, late night pleading phone calls — they won't win you points. Nor will stalking him at his new girlfriend's place, or secretly watching his every move online. Rita is proud of the time she saw a break-up coming, and surprised him by keeping her cool. (She broke down and cried privately, the next day.) She recommends you calmly ask for your things back, "because long after you've gotten over him, you'll still be missing your stuff."

Mourn and move on
Get him out of your system. Pour your frustration on paper by writing a journal or making a collage. If you've got it bad, make a voodoo doll or burn photos. But don't insist on remaining friends or hunker down waiting for a reconciliation. "Chances are, he'll dump you again," says Caren, who learned her lesson the hard way. "I was dumped three times by the same guy. I felt like Lucy and Charlie Brown with the football."

Get busy with something else
Exercise, laughter and other connections can soothe and restore you. Jenna says the best strategy is to get busy, and remind yourself you have a life without him. Go to a spa, visit old friends, even go to the zoo. "Resist the urge to sit around the house with a box of Hohos listening to sappy love music that reminds you of him while wearing the same old pajamas for three days," she advises.

Look to future romance
Today's disappointment just makes it all the sweeter when you do find a win-win connection. Diana had been devastated when Mr. Right said he no longer loved her. "It took months to finally end things because I kept humiliating myself by calling him at all hours," she said. Years later, he tracked her down and wrote that he couldn't stop thinking about her. But she had gotten back into circulation, and made a new life rich with love. So she knew just how to reply: "I emailed him my wedding picture with a one-word response: Thanks!"