Okay, can I just say that **** ROCKS!!!??? Tonight we hung out here at my house. We wanted to go out and do something but both of us are broke. So we stayed at home and ended up having an incredible conversation. I cannot believe how easy it is to talk with him and we talked about some pretty heavy things tonight.

I did learn something very important though and it is that I have allowed myself to put more into this than he has. This is very important for me to realise because this has been my down fall in the past. Getting too attached and emotionally invested too soon. We have been getting to know each other less than a month and inside of me, I have put more into this than is safe or necessary at this stage. It's not that we don't like each other, we do, but I am continually impressed by his ability to keep things in perspective. Basically I figured out the nature of things by asking him if he would be upset if I started getting to know someone else and he said no. I would be bothered if the postions were reversed. That is how I figured it out that I have started to invest too much too soon.

I feel the need to re-evaluate what I want out of our friendship at this stage. This early investment of emotion is what I think has made somethings difficult for me...like freaking out when he doesn't call. We are in different places as far as how much we are expecting. This is a good thing for me to see not to mention, freeing. Now I feel like I can make myself slow down, stop trying to control everything, and just take care of myself as I am getting to know him.

I guess my greatest fear is that he will lose interest and move on. This has always been a fear of mine in most male/female romantic relationships and has kept me from truly being myself. In the end, the guy has alwayed moved on because the relationship became unhealthy. I am learning now how to not compromise myself...as I am, because of fear. A good lesson to learn. Thanks **** for being the catalyst for all this growth.