Part 3: Getting Answers

As I waited I began to think about an event from first grade. It was donut making day in class and it was something we all looked forward to. Just as we were finishing a task and getting ready to have some yummy fun, a boy in class saw that someone had used crayon to mark up his notebooks and books. He was very upset and so was the teacher. We were all asked who had marked up his things and no one answered. She told us to all put our heads down on our desks and only when someone raised their hand to show they had committed the offense would we make donuts. The class was quiet as we all crossed our arms on our desks and put our heads down. After a few minutes passed I raised my hand. This brought about swift punishment. Everyone was told to raise their heads and I was asked why I had done it. I didn't have an answer. This made the teacher even angrier and I was told to go to the library. I would not be making donuts. I was so embarrassed. I didn't realize that by raising my hand I would not be making donuts. I was taken to the library and told to write a note of apology to the classmate and his mother. I did as I was told. The next day, at the beginning of class, the teacher took me aside and said to me,

"His mom called. She told me that it was his little sister who drew all over his books and notebooks. If you didn't do it Adalia why did you raise your hand?"

"So the class could make donuts."

I don't remember what the teacher did after I revealed my reason for raising my hand. I think the fact that I can't remember is that her response to my act of selflessness did not measure up to the punishment I received. I got the feeling at the time that she was embarrassed and had no idea how to address a situation where a child lied so others could be happy.

There was something about this experience that rang true in my present circumstances. I still had no idea why my license was suspended but something told me that the "WHY" would connect both experiences.

After waiting for an hour and a half, the woman who had originally brought me there, came to take me out. Tennessee and one other woman was with me. I was not placed in chains this time. Only Tennessee was put in waist chains and hand cuffs. She was being taken to the infirmary. Once again we were ordered to form a straight line on the right side of the hall. We walked quietly as we were led to the elevator that had brought us to this floor. A long walk once again in too big clothes and slippers. Once again we were told to walk straight into the vestibule and to face the back of the elevator. I was so ready to get out of that place that my body vibrated. When the elevator reached the intended floor we were ordered to turn around and exit to the right of the elevator. Another long walk as we came to an intersection in the hallways. I was told to go to a room at the end of the hall to the right. On my right were three small rooms with plate glass windows and chairs inside. To my left was a large office behind glass. As I walked away I looked back at Tennessee and she kept looking straight ahead. Her back rigid as a board and her face emotionless. I wished her so much grace in my mind. I truly hope that she is freed soon. I hope that she is not put on H-block where she could be broken.

I found myself waiting in yet another dirty, ill kept room with stark colors and harsh lighting. Soon after I sat down the other woman who was with us came in. When we got to talking we both realized we were in jail for the same reason, suspended licenses. We both felt that the punishment we were dealt did not fit the crime. This was not her first time in jail and she was determined to make it her last saying, "I can't come back here again. It would kill me."

When she realized I had no idea that I had been driving on a suspended license she shared that she had known she was. Apparently she and her boyfriend were having an argument and she was driving. At some point during the argument she pushed his head to the side. The police man in the car behind them saw this and pulled her over asking if everything was o.k. Asking for her license, he said she was driving recklessly and now, here she was.

We lapsed into silence. Both of us thinking about the circumstances that brought us to this place. Soon after a lady in in the "glass office" called my name. I walked to her window where she gave me my clothes and told me to return to the room. I was to change behind a privacy wall. A few minutes after changing I was called up to another window where a man gave me back my purse, jewelery, medicine, and phone. After signing a form stating that had I received all of my belongings I was told to walk out of double doors behind me and to follow the sidewalk left.

Opening the doors on the dark, still, hot, humid, star filled night took a moment of adjustment. After the harsh lights, the darkness was a welcome change. It was almost midnight. I followed the sidewalk left as it led towards the parking lot where I saw Dhabih step out with Polly following. I wanted to run. Thinking, just maybe they would find something else wrong and I would be taken back. I wanted to put distance between me and the jail as fast as possible but my spirit needed to walk. Needed the night air and the quietude. I was greeted lovingly by mother and son. I honestly had been so quiet, numb, and observant that it was hard to get out of that place at first.

The first order of business was to go to the bonds man's office and sign paperwork. I was so tired. So emotionally worn out. I was so out of it that forming words was hard. We got to his office and sat down with him. He seemed sympathetic for the wait I had. He said the bond was paid around 8:30. It took three hours for me to be released. More than three hours. He had had reservations about putting up bond for a woman who not only didn't have a job but was leaving the country the very month of her first court appearance. It took Dhabih's proof of employment and vouching for me to get me released on bail. I assured the bond's man that this situation would be given its due attention and I would be in court. There is no way I would jeopardize Dhabih's freedom.

Actually the fact that I was leaving the country was reported by the arresting officer. The fact that I was going for work was not included. I told him that I had a job and that was why I needed to have the trial sped up and have this situation resolved quickly. I spoke with him about something the arresting officer said about me having a lawyer stand in my place for the court appearances. He was very doubtful that this would be allowed. When I informed him that the car in the impound was in my husband's name he thought that I may have trouble getting it out. Not a whole lot of encouraging news right after being released from jail. After the papers were signed Polly, Dhabih and I headed for the impound.

Upon arriving at the impound I presented a piece of paper showing that I had a car there that needed to be picked up. As the woman behind the counter was telling me the amount I would need to pay to get my car I noticed that they only accepted cash. AWWWWW!!!! Information that would have been nice to know thirty minutes ago. I was so tired and so were my friends but we got back into the car to go look for an atm. We found one but my card wouldn't work. We left there and drove to my bank. When I used my card there I got a message that I was not able to get funds because of suspicious activity. Thank God Polly and Dhabih were so patient and calm. They never gave me the impression that all of this running around was a burden. I called the number on the atm screen and in a forced calm voice talked with customer service to get the account released. Finally, I was able to get the money and went back to the impound. I gave the impound their fee and reimbursed Dhabih for the bail amount. The woman never asked for ID and to this Polly said,

"Don't let what that bonds man told you make you think that you will not be able to go to Abu Dhabi. See, he told you you may have trouble getting the car and she didn't even as for ID. Save the possibility that he did not know what he was saying."

That was very encouraging to hear as we walked into a huge space filled with cars. It took a moment to find my car but we did. Of course, Polly drove me home because my license was suspended. The normality of everything was still hard to adjust to. After such a short time in jail my mind had shifted so dramatically. I don't want to imagine what it would have been like to be there any longer than I was.

Dhabih met us at my apartment complex and they both walked me to my door. The moment the door closed behind me and I stepped into the peacefulness of my home, the weight of the day began to descend. I sat and allowed myself to cry until I needed to finish. I had talked to my husband in short bursts through out the bond and impound process. It was 1:30 in the morning when I called to tell him I was safely home. We talked some but he had work in the morning and sounded so tired. After not working for seven weeks, the thought of him leaving work early to be with me never entered my mind. This was only possible because Polly and Dhabih took care of me like family.

Needless-to-say it was hard for me to go to sleep. I watched some Netflix. I posted a comment on Facebook around 5:00 am and two friends who were also up that late/early responded with surprise. One of them was Kimimila and we started chatting. She chatted with me until my eyes lids got too heavy to stay open. I am so very grateful that she was still awake at that late hour. I shared with her some of what had happened which allowed me to sleep.

Some hours later I woke up to sun light sneaking around the slits in the window blinds. I opened them and sat quietly for a moment. I was grateful to be home. Grateful to have slept safely on our couch. Grateful that I had food in the fridge and could open the blinds to let the sunlight in unfettered.

Late Friday morning I started looking for the reason I was arrested. After eating something I got online, and pulled up South Carlina's Department of Motor Vehicles website. I was surprised to find that I could see the status of my license and resolve it through their website. The "why" was instantly answered. My insurance was suspended for driving without insurance. And this is when my childhood experience and my adult one converged. At the end of January, I had given my car to a family friend who had fallen on hard times. He was out of a job and I knew what that was like because I was too. I wasn't comfortable charging much for the car because it was not in the best condition. So, I gave the car to them. About two weeks later I cancelled the insurance on the car that was no longer in my possession. He drove on my tags without insurance until April. Because he had not turned the license plate in, it looked like I was driving without insurance for about two months. Although the tags had been turned in, the suspension was still on my driving record and in June, when my license was run, the suspension came up.

It was a kindness that had brought this. It was a kindness that assumed trust and responsibility in another person. Kindness entwined in ignorance. I called the SCDMV and spoke with a woman who told me how to resolve the suspension and possibly not be charged a fine. There was an extremely simple, brief form for me to complete and fax back. When I pulled it up I saw that it was a form to protect the former owner of a car if such an occurrence like the one I found myself in were to happen. The principle of Independent Investigation of Truth in its most basic application. So the experience of the 6 year old Adalia was revisited on the 35 year old Adalia. Older, more responsible and more aware of personal power but revisited nonetheless. I am still gnawing on what this means for me.

After having a quiet weekend with my husband and a new friend, I woke up Monday morning with the determination to get my license reinstated. Polly agreed to squeeze me into her hectic day to drive me to a place to fax and to buy groceries. I called the SCDMV again and gratefully got an angel of a woman. Her sympathy, kindness and reassurances that all of this would get worked out brought me to tears. She told me how to correctly fill out the form, gave me the fax to her desk, and assured me if she received the fax that day she would get things cleared up and a letter in the mail to me that day. She asked me for my number so she could call me when everything was resolved. Polly arrived not long after, took me to a place to fax and I rode with her as she continued her day. About thirty minutes after faxing the form, I received a call from the lady at the DMV that my license was restored and that the letter proving it was in the mail!

The easy part is done and now I am in the process of getting the charges dismissed. I am on a time schedule and it needs to be done this month. Luckily I have a couple of lawyer friends who have given me some advice. I am hoping that, having all of the documentation I do, I will not need a lawyer. I will be contacting legal aid to find out what my options are. One thing I have learned is to do my own research first, know what help I am looking for, and then contact professionals. I have a pretty solid understanding of what I need now because of my own research.

The next few weeks are going to be hectic. Pins and needles of anxiety maybe. Or maybe an opportunity to trust in what God Wills. Maybe I am not meant to leave. Maybe I am meant to leave. This is an opportunity to be open to which ever becomes a truth for me.

As days have passed I have found profound release in writing. I have a hard time verbalizing emotions and the depth of experiences. Writing is my most pure voice. I got tired of talking. Tired of trying to remember what I told this or that person. People have contacted me and sounded hurt that I or others had not told them. I am grateful that folks who knew, respected my space to share this experience as I saw fit and in my own time. It was with some worry that I posted the first portion of this experience. I knew that some people would only read the title and not bother reading the story. It was an exercise in truly realizing that this was something done to me not by me. That the humiliation I experienced was not a reflection of who I am. The thought that was the energy behind me pressing "publish" was all the people who will read, understand and maybe learn from my story. People who will be grateful to have been allowed to witness a profoundly human, but ultimately, spiritual experience.

I do believe that the Divine energies operating in the world put angels in our midst. We mortals are used to bring peace to one another's hearts. When I was waiting to be released, there was a young woman sitting in the "waiting area" outside of the jail cells with me. She asked me what I had done and I told her about my situation and she said to me, "God doesn't put on us more than we can handle. There was some lesson to be learned in all of this. Maybe ,for some reason, you needed to take care of this now instead of sometime down the road. God never gives us more than we can handle" ....I agree.