I Ain't No Soldier

Thr Fast ended up becoming difficult for me. Actually, the past couple of years it has been difficult. It isn't the not eating during the day that is difficult but the spiritual disciplin that is necessary to make it more than skipping lunch. To have reliance on God to the point that I know that He will help me to not be cranky if I just asked.

I have found I lack spiritual disciplin and therefore found Fasting difficult. There was also the fact that I am working more, I have more students and most of them were new. On the days that I Fasted successfully, including praying and such, I was so tired and just didn't have the energy to take in all of their needs plus plan well.

I guess this is just another failure to add to the growing list of failures.

My brother Faysal has been helping me by developing a program that helps me to be more aware of my finances and also we put something together for my spiritual life. I think it might be time to revisit that. I actually was doing well for about a month and a half. Anyone who knows me well knows that this has been a struggle for me for a long time.

So much of this has to do with the way I think about myself and also my relationship with God.