Going There Again

I am beginning to go through another healing cycle. A few years ago I experienced a pretty brutal break up. It cut very deep and I am finding that despite all of the hard work I have done, I still have things unresolved within myself. The hurt went to places I cannot even speak of and I am beginning to realize that I hold a lot of fear still. This keeps me from opening up to people in general but obviously, men. I remember myself before that time and I look like a different person. I don't know how to recapture that light, that fearlessness...it was infused into my voice so that I could do open mics with power. Not anymore. I am timid. My voice quiet. The fearlessness gone. I think I healed in some fundamental ways and now I am rebuilding and I really don't know how. I am now trying to give a voice to concerns instead of swallowing them but I am immature in my expression. Someday I will be done with this.